1. |
Reflection
03:48
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when the lies became unraveled, i began to bleed.
the truth re-opened every wound and cut down to it’s seed
and it’s bright depiction, reflected in your eyes,
the loneliness of fiction and the freedom that it buys,
so now you can’t hold on to me, well, and ,
if i come undone it’s meant to be,
a mad hatter’s always there, inviting me to tea,
i’ve got cheshire grins o’plenty and reflection's all i see.
in the oddness of the evening, in a birth of flight ,
hurried by the palest moon and huddled with the night ,
like any bird born to it, high as heaven’s height,
all around i saw myself releasing every fight ...
i have nurtured my illusions and acted so naive,
practiced long forgetting that i’ve seen what’s up your sleeve,
i’ve stuck to rules that poison, like all good children do,
abiding in the silence and i did it all for you...
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2. |
The Mirror
03:55
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i’m told you’re in the way i use my hands
and in the way my mood and anger play.
i’m told you can be seen, when i’m expressing what i mean,
that you would say things the same way.
you’re in the way i’ll take an afternoon to think,
you’re in the way i love my music with my drink,
in almost all i am and all i do,
i am the mirror that you never looked into...
i’m told you can be heard in my loud laugh,
that when i speak of god there is your voice.
that you’re stumbling with me, when i am drunk so happily,
that it’s genetic, but i still say it’s my choice.
i’m told you’re probably dead and gone by now,
yet more in me each day you are revealed.
in your spiritual design, there is a pathway into mine,
but it’s overgrown, the more that i am healed.
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3. |
A Burning Flame
03:59
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time after time she comes around
to go without a word of good advice
and i think twice.
day after day she goes away to run about
the world in prayer,
she’s so lonely there.
it doesn’t matter what the man said in her dreams,
every idol ain't always what it seems to be for you and me, well,
the mystery’s the same as any game,
a burning flame.
miss after matched, she’s so attached
to her conviction and her crime,
she’s losing time.
lost on the lack of all the facts,
that she held once in her heart,
right from the start.
it doesn’t matter about the writing on the wall,
and every idol is sometime going to fall,
with all her hopeful calls, the poetry’s the same and who’s to blame?
a burning flame.
life after death, she holds her breath,
and counts her blessings and her deeds,
for what she needs.
dark after light comes every night
and ticking time remains unmoved,
and so it’s proved.
it doesn’t matter in the on and on and on, no ,no,
every idol that she worshiped is now gone,
thereon, her marathon for masses, is her selfsame name,
a burning flame...
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4. |
Choir Boy
05:16
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i remember when the riot got real quiet
and angus and his brother took a back seat on the shelf.
and KJET played joey and dee dee, boy tumbled for me,
by the mirror in the bathroom, that’s where i found myself.
and i admit i loved those young guns, a karma chameleon,
when you’re only a lad, you need a little tenderness.
with paint around my eyes and a shaved head, some wanted me dead,
so i went up the junction to the decline of the west.
“kid what are you a fag? ‘cause you ain't tough.
you must be gay to listen to that stuff
and you think wearing pink gives you a place where you fit in,
but this town’s way too small, can’t you see?
you ain't what coach wants you to be,
sing your pretty little songs, if it gives you so much joy,
but we’ll make sure it hurts to be a hated choir boy,
we’ll make sure it hurts to be a hated choir boy”.
with new old friends like major tom and ziggy played it left hand,
changes always came and no one ever was to blame.
our immunity was laughter, in late discoveries after
and those of us you spit on just go further in the game.
and how those sisters gave me mercy, unearthly, just like percey,
when bela was undead and sanctuary was for sale.
in the dark and misty moonlight, with she’s in parties all night,
i went down fascination street and i wore a heavy veil.
“kid what are you a corpse, are you on “A”?
around the world in just one day.
and you think wearing black gives you a place where you fit in.
this city is so small, can’t you see?
you ain't what mom wants you to be.
forever young? a wasted life on poetry and chasing joy.
do you like how it hurts to be a hated choir boy,
do you like how it hurts to be a hated choir boy?
and at last people are just people. it was foreseeable
that i’d immortalize you, ‘cause everyday i write the book.
and i have also been a tough creep, but dirty deeds are dirt cheap
and either way they judge you based on how they think you look.
so, hey, what am i now? it’s no concern of yours. if anything, i’ve sorely learned,
unless you’re true to you, there ‘aint no place where you’ll fit in.
this world is so small, can’t you see?
you’ll always be what you will be.
you can’t go home expecting anyone to validate your joy.
do you remember me, i was a hated choir boy,
do you remember me i was a hated choir boy...?
waa, waa, waa, waa, waa...
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5. |
Innocent
04:05
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my motorcycle does a hundred and fifty, all of my outfits look so neat and so nifty, every time i turn around i’m helping a stranger, i never put myself into mortal danger.
i can jump over houses, fly like an eagle, show you my wings someday, they’re royal and regal, my imagination keeps me so busy, i could go on but you might start to get dizzy.
and i will always wait for one more dream, to come take me away,
there’s nothing wrong with me, i’m okay, maybe lost, but having fun you see, it’s as innocent as anything can be, dreaming the day away,
innocent as anything can be.
i won the nobel prize but that was illusion, i had it all but all of it was confusion, took a trip and then i woke up from dreaming, i heard the silence and i found i was screaming.
i won the lottery but none’s in my pocket, i got a picture of it tucked in a locket, my poor mind has such an imagination, still it’s a mystery, this dark desolation.
i’ll never die because i’ll never believe it, make sure that if i leave it i can retrieve it, if i want to stay and find the man don’t want to let me, i’ll go to sleep and dream that he will forget me, forget me...
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6. |
Alone This Friday
03:54
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i’ll go on my way now. everyone knows how late it’s gotten,
coming daylight has a rotten greeting in store, when she comes.
i’ll pick up my barroom passions, like the change that’s sitting here.
wipe off my cartoon brow and all the pains i soaked with beer.
and if i’m still alive to see what morning doesn’t bring,
i’ll still be on my own, with the same old song to sing,
i sing that same old song... the down and out, alone this friday blues.
the down and out, alone this friday blues.
i’ll go on my way now,
thumbing through this humanity
satisfied my vanity, my shelter is a hat, that greets the rain.
i’ll pick up my barroom laughter, like a travelling backpack,
choke down the gloomy after-taste that keeps me coming back
and if i’m still alive to hear the paperboy ring,
i’ll still be on my own, with the same old song to sing,
i sing that same old song...
the down and out, alone this friday blues.
the down and out, alone this friday blues.
and if i’m still alive when misery makes me her king,
i’ll still be on my own, with the same old song to sing,
i sing that same old song...
the down and out, alone this friday blues.
the down and out, alone this friday blues.
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7. |
Shine
03:41
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my watch is broken, and, i don’t know how long
i’ve been waiting for you and my soggy clothes to dry.
i guess it rained all day and i don’t know enough to
get inside and cheat the brutal storm.
i tried to get warm enough to weather it,
and cold enough to suffer,
while i picture in my mind the way your face will come to me...
i’ll turn my dripping head to beat the wind and from the
fog, you are revealed, like a flower on the vine
and how you shine... and how you shine...
i smoked the cigarettes i stole from judas
and i thought i’d have a drink, but thought again.
i watched the sun go down across the water
and the crescent moon has come up better yet.
and you can bet that i would lose, if i make room in me for booze and such and i will tame the monster, yes, and i will hope to see...
how can i make this last?
will i repeat my past?
i’ll turn my dripping head to beat the wind and from the
fog, you are revealed, like a flower on the vine
and how you shine... and how you shine...
i see you’ve torn your dress, you’re still a princess
better than an old magician turning water into wine
and how you shine... and how you shine...
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8. |
Lord
04:28
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found another place to put my passion,
if only for a night 'til morning shines.
a heavy make-up, drunken, cheap replacement,
to hold me 'til i leave this night behind.
lord it might be hard to reach me now,
sometimes it hurts to try to smile
i’ll drop a line if i can find the time...
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
forgive me just this one denial
lord, i’ll be busy for a while...
i’d brave the night alone if i were crazier,
pull my collar tight against the cold.
and drop my feet to steps i’ve laid before me,
but i’m not growing, only growing old.
lord i guess i’ve gone astray for now,
sometimes i’m sadly juvenile,
don’t try to call, i wont be home at all...
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
forgive me just this one denial
lord, i’ll be busy for a while...
makes no sense pretending i’m surprised lord,
we both knew i’d only give so much.
seems i’m always planning for the ending,
but lord if you can hear me, keep in touch.
lord forgive me, but it’s over now,
sometimes it’s hard to reconcile,
so now, you see, you must watch over me...
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
lord, i’ll be busy for a while
forgive me just this one denial
lord, i’ll be busy for a while...
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9. |
Junky for the Pain
03:47
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zara loves her cigarettes, a hooker, not a slut, who bets
her earnings on how many rebounds den is going to make.
her casual acquaintances don’t ever make complaints, she says,
it’s always worth the worry walking on the boulevard.
orris is her only one, he loves his drugs, but they have fun,
you know, he hits her everyday and she’s a junky for the pain.
no bed of roses i suppose, it’s quite a habit and she knows
it’s probably going to stay that way
and she’s a junky for the pain...
eppa is a super star in some reality so far
away from you and me, i’d have to say it’s got it’s charm.
picking up the trash left after smashing up the bash
he had, in honor of his birthday, it’s a shame nobody came.
jackeen loves him, but it’s true, a guy can only give to you
as much as he can give away and he’s a junky for the pain.
says he wants to be alone, she changed the locks, un-hooked the phone, he always knew she’d run away
and he’s a junky for the pain...
and he’s a junky for the pain…
am i a cynic, or an ass and do i fail, or do i pass?
and do i care, or give a shit for your opinions? or the prison-like dominions you recycle in your head, until you’re dead...?
no! i reject the points of view that keep me from having a hit or two,
you know it happens everyday and i’m a junky for the pain.
i hate my mom, i hate my dad, hate everything that will make me glad,
i can’t go on too long this way,
but i’m a junky for the pain,
i’m a junky for the pain,
i’m a junky for the pain,
i’m a junky for the pain...
“of course, you realize, this means war”
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10. |
Behind the Song
04:06
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stare in the mirror, i see my face, seeking a shred of truth, a trace
of where my self could truly be, other than living in this body,
i’m not only who you see standing here and though i question it’s very clear, there’s a me that sings along, there is a me behind the song...
deep within the melody, where my soul is singing free,
no tick or talk of time, no reason to the wrym,
all vanished in the sound and i am not touching the ground
every word i say, every note i play, i am here behind the song...
living in the breath, giving it to death, i am here behind the song...
picture it all as a roaring sea, drowning the picture of you and me
and washing away the boundaries, no more divided realities,
all of it all into one, in joy, union in every girl and boy
and everyone, as we sing along, all of us living behind the song...
where you see life’s ecstasy, closer yet you come to me,
where you see god’s mystery, closer yet you come to me
and i see me, thinking i’m so bloody aware
and i see me, thinking i’m the only one here,
but no, i’m not the only one here, oh no,
i’m not the only, not the only one here...
every word i say, every note i play, you are here, with me, behind the song... living in the breath, giving it to death we are here behind the song, yeah we’re here, behind the song, behind the song...
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11. |
Sweet Smile
04:23
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the light that is roxana shined on the lonely face
of an old man being beaten by his past,
the brightness in her manner, her beauty and her grace,
brought a young man back to life again at last
oh lord how she shined upon me,
i’ve been waiting all my life to breathe her in,
please, roxana, i’ll move mountains to the sun and back
if only to see your sweet smile again,
to see your sweet smile again...
where would it end, would it be all we can imagine
in our lives, our one true place to be?
and in the chapter where the slipper fits, well there it sits,
her bare and brightened soul comes through to me
my flesh is new in places where she touched me,
my clever mind can find so many ways to kill me;
the lies, the faults, the loser’s fear and my addiction,
i’ll throw them all away, a better life is my prediction,
if she’ll let me make her happy, i will do it gratefully...
oh lord how she shined upon me,
i’ve been waiting all my life to breathe her in,
please, roxana, i’ll move mountains to the sun and back
if only to see your sweet smile again,
to see your sweet smile again...
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12. |
Heaven and Avarice
03:35
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leave me to wander, i’m making my way i
t’s just taking a little time,
i’m watching the world keep on turning and
wondering when it will turn into mine,
‘cause i’m not done with my crying or my fun
and i’m still flawed, mortally not in the eyes of my God...
closer yet i approach him, who knows,
but i am enjoying this, i run between visions of
heaven and avarice...
heaven and avarice...
i wont leave here in sorrow, or leave with regrets
or with anything weighing me down,
on the day i repent, i will be heaven sent,
if my greed isn’t hanging around.
now please, understand, I don’t want golden rings on my hand,
but i must clear my mind of the treasures i think i will find in my God...
closer yet i approach him, who knows,
but i am enjoying this, i run between visions of
heaven and avarice...
heaven and avarice...
they say whom the gods love will die young,
but i can’t say how they feel about me for sure.
if my time hasn’t come and i’ve gone where i’m from,
i’ll be happy and joyful and pure,
because my fate, it is sealed by a hand that is great,
the reasons why i will see through my birth, when i die, when i die, when i die... hey, don’t hurt me with that thing...
i’m no leader, or saint and i know that i ain’t,
though i’ve led and i’ve sainted a few.
my last call philosophy’s wearing too thin
to give any more of it to you.
i’ll be off, in the wind, see what trouble i get my self in,
if you want to come play, we’ll play ‘til the coming of day.
closer yet we’ll approach him, who knows,
but we are enjoying this, we are enjoying this, we are enjoying this...
and we’ll run between visions of
heaven and avarice...
heaven and avarice...
heaven and avarice...
is all my confusion a heaven or hell?
have i got a pocket of nonsense to sell !
pieces of puzzles won’t make it a pie,
oh, oh , lordy, lordy, the kitchen is dry.
we’ve got to get out babe, on oceans of love,
swim like a dolphin, soar like a dove,
how can i get away from the want?
she is the shadow i fearfully flaunt....
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13. |
Albion Moonlight
05:46
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Albion is a precious being, prescient and prone to seeing
everybody’s deepest inner fears.
sometimes he gets too tired to take it, swallows anything to make it easier to live through all the tears… and nervous laughter.
born to love the fountain pen, ridiculed by other men,
turns his anger all onto himself, with deadly skill.
and though he knows no true escape can come from any grain or grape,
he can’t resist the potions we distill,
it’s like trying to roll a millstone up a hill,
it’s like trying to roll a millstone up a hill....
at twenty, with his brave ambition, set upon his chosen mission;
writing down in stories all he saw.
loving people, so completely, finding girls who’d so discretely
monitor his drink, ‘til he’d withdraw into his own time.
for seven years he struggled there, preparing his electric chair
and all of these distractions only kept him standing still.
how his spirit needed motion, lost inside a mindless ocean,
floating on a wilting daffodil,
it’s like trying to roll a millstone up a hill,
it's like trying to roll a millstone up a hill...
now the boy is nearing thirty, trying to cleanse himself of dirty
habits, that don’t do the spirit good. asks himself the constant question; ”am i going this direction because i want to, or because i should?”, and that’s hard to answer.
wondering how long he’ll last, ‘til he just repeats his past,
believing he has nothing if he doesn’t have free will.
and though the weight may break his back, for now the lone insomniac
tries to resist those things that make him ill, make him ill,
it’s like trying to roll a millstone up a hill,
it’s like trying to roll a millstone up a hill, up a hill, yeah...
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Brent David Fraser Los Angeles, California
#Singer #Songwriter #Writer #Poet #Actor #FSAScot #Sober - What's in it for me is covered. How I can help is my quest.
Living the Dream that helps others in living theirs. 777 #BDF
www.instagram.com/bdf.love.affluence.creator
imdb.me/brentdavidfraser
youtube.com/TheBrentdavid67
www.facebook.com/TheBDFWorldFamily
twitter.com/Brent_D_Fraser
... more
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